Write up from 06

When the words come to an end to explain your innerself you know you are in moments of deep feelings. Whenever life truly started for me I know I expected nothing but just pure happiness. Days have gone by where you realize life is not about achieving many goals but rather enjoying those special moments that happen once in a blue moon. I look for those those moments where I can truly understand what I want out of this life what I can give, what I can take...

Lately that's all I think about. Trying to find out what's my true passion is. Am I really putting the time and effort? Not really. I am just enjoying the present which I learned that its precious. Why look for the times to come and waste all the days in between... Any day could be precious  if you wanted it to be. What you want to take out of is up to you. If I am content with myself when I put my head on the pillow every night, saying that, I am truly appreciative of what I accomplished so far and relax about the futuristic goals that our society makes us worry about. I think that is the ultimate freedom where you truly not worry about the future even though you'll be prepared for it. Taking that scary feeling out of yourself is the fight that you will give within. 

I want to know where is my place in this universe. What should I do to make this world a better place before I leave. That's the crisis I am having... Is this what I have to do, that is working at a bank. I am trying to think of it as a global organization, a huge giant tree of network that has branches in every city that you can practically imagine. I love being part of it and will still be part of it next year. Remember it is all about enjoying as you last. Then you figure out. In the end many things happened last minute in my life that made me a bit more equipped going through the difficult times. I know I was an international student at one time where I didn't represent anywhere,  anyone but learned that I loved being involved in that kind of environment. In my personal statement document for college application, the only thing that stood to be really true is the fact that I truly loved various people from different cultures. Diversity is what I am all about. Maybe I will end up doing something about it as a profession or maybe do it as a hobby but I know I will start that big group of international community where the people's voice starts to be heard. 

I am 24 and started going through the quarter life crisis and happy to be in it as strange as it may sound. I know I am going through a quite a special journey to my soul where I want to know what I am all about...

20 August 2006 @6.50pm

Washington Square Park - San Francisco